Focusing on what I want most.

http://frugalbabe.com/2010/03/10/focusing-on-what-we-want-most/

Inspired by the link above...

Focusing on what I want most.

My priorities
1) my daughters college degree
2) I would like to be debt free
3) I would like to own my own home in which I can retire mortgage free
4) Surrounded by my loving family who I love in return.

What I want vs what I want right now.

Right now I want to go back to bed. But That could cause me to loose sick time and take away from maternity time I am planning to take in October.It is important to me to have "bonding time with my new baby so I will stick it out here at work.

I recently had a conversation with my DD. She was making a stew out of everything going haywire in her life. I tried to help her refocus on only what was important to solve for today. I asked her how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Keep a smaller focus in order to truely achieve your dreams.

She understands but is often surrounded by girls who do not share the same long term perspective. She gets frustrated by the fact they want to be soccer moms and drive a mini van. While she is looking forward to her career. It is often still a choice, despite more equality in the workplace, to have children vs a career. I was often of the Mrs degree. I still think I would like to smack that 20 year old child in me and say you are going to have to work for the rest of your life. Make sure you like what you do. focus on the work part because the marriage and kids is the easy part. Sigh... I knew so little. Yet as life journey continues I like where I am in general. I have a few sources of discomfort I want to be debt free. It causes me a lot of stress. I want to live in my own home instead of paying rent forever. But when you pull back from the details of day to day living I am happy with my Husband and family. I am proud of my DD,and DS and look forward to a second DD on the way. Most days I think I am utterly insane for being pregnant again. But I know I want to have children around me for a long time. My husband wanted to be a dad so crazy as it is, it is done with love. Who knows how it will turn out but I too want to live until I am 90 and so I must act as if that will come to pass. And take steps to ensure it will take place.

Some days I get the money I wants. I want a higher paying career, I want my masters degree, I want the super-sized McMansion. None of those things is unreachable, I just need to make them a priority. Yet I tend to fall back to the simple top 4 listed above. The first is almost achieved. Once it is accomplished I will turn to debt and a home search in a more intense way. I let myself fantasize about the McMansion. If you don't enjoy a good daydream whats the use of envisioning something? But when I envision the details of the dream most of the time I see happy children running in the back yard while my husband and I enjoy a glass of wine with each other or with friends. The location is less important then the scene I paint. Perhaps it comes from my family home which was a large colonial in the suburbs. Where we live now is just costly. We could get a LOT more house for less if we lived in another part of the country. But my#1 choice is where my brother returned to last year in June. He has just become employed after one fill year of unemployment. The prospect is not appealing. We will stay where we are for a while longer.