Needs

I am grumpy today. I had a long morning negotiating healthcare and I shopped online. Mostly because I was trying to clear my desk off of catalogs. But also I have started to be a little bigger with the baby and I know I will need some fall clothes. I had to take a little money out of savings for clothes. Its not an emergency but I need to be dressed in a professional way and I am finding that doing laundry every day so that I can wear the same things over and over is a little tiresome.

I am also trying to clear off my desk of un needed papers and anything that is not urgent. I have felt so stressed in the last three months. It is harder and harder to find things and feel like I am doing the right thing. August's budget was a bust. The on going projects that need attention this month are

my health
Daycare
Get rid of old paperwork
Work

My health takes a lot more care then you would think. This mornings visit ended up being a total waste of time. I spent 40 minutes waiting to check in for an appointment only to be informed that I was still missing all the documents for the check in process... Oh and by the way its your fault we are not responsible even though no one told you that a refferal is not the same as an order and oh by the way we need both. Harrumph Yeah right. I now actually have no interest in seeing a dietitian. I though it would be really helpful with gestational diabetes but really I am not interested in doing the work it takes to scale the brick walls the hospital lays in front of you. Its not worth it. But that lets the health care companies win. It means I wont get the care I need and I am paying a LOT of money each month to afford good care. Frustration level is high! Like my sugar LOL

The hunt for daycare is actually better because Hubby is going with me. Mostly. Today we have 2 appointments so far I have visited 4 other facilities. I think we have chosen the right one for us so far It is some kind of cross between personality and facilities. Hopefully it will go well. We need to reserve a spot or risk not having daycare in the spring. Not an option as I need to work.

One of my projects is to organize the OLD health care information in my desk. I have every receipt and Doctors visit my daughter ever had. Plus all of them for the last 15 years for myself. I do not think I need all this paper. BUT I am loathe to get rid of it. So I scan it in to "save" it and then shred it. I love to shred stuff. It is so satisfying to eliminate things that bog me down. Usually I feel free. Today not so much just grumpy it could be hormones and sugar.

And lastly work. I find it very hard to focus these days at work at all. Today I would say I am hiding out from work. I just dont have the passion I used to about the things that need to be done. Partially because the enviornment has beaten it out of me and partially beacuse August was so intense I think my brain is rebelling. You can only keep sustained Overtime focus for so long. Sigh I need my job though so I am going to have to fake it till I make it. Wish me luck...