I rarely post when I am not feeling up. This is a post from 07/16/08. I am posting it to keep it real. I have bad days too. Wednesday & Thursday were whoppers. I am so glad to be beyond this...
I am feeling depressed. I also feel overwhelmed. I have a lot of tasks and I feel powerless to effect any change. I know that life is full of ups and downs. I know that I just have a few hurdles to get me over the hump. I can do this. I know I can get this resolved. I will pursue the right course of action. But why is health care so hard? How can I keep better records so that this can be easier to resolve. I feel completely trapped.
School financing -
Well it happens all the time move one stick and you get a flood this is why I am always afraid to take action. I finally took action to resolve some financing with my daughters school. I literally hit send on my email and my ex husband is trying to make a payment to her school. What kind of craziness is that? He sent an email stating that he would in no way contribute. He has now paid 1/2 of what he should contribute with no way of knowing what else he will do .
Medical record forms -
I need to consolidate her medical records with a single doctor and get things rockin' and rollin' for her future. I also need a good pediatrician. And I need to get my blood work done. It is a little strange I cant wait for my daughter to go away to school so I can take care of myself. When does it get to be my turn? I must have had a look in my eyes because dear fiancee looks at me and said "I am so glad we are doing this. I am so glad we are having a baby. I am so happy". Phew I just need to keep thinking about that moment to keep me moving forward.
So what does all this have to do wih the price of Tea in China? Well let me explain the connection. For me having my finances on a plan keeps me grounded So when I have days like today and I become unhinged I can rest assured that at least that area of my life is under control.
It just take s a couple of hours out of my day to fix what used to become a huge flood in my life and now is just a inconvenient high water mark. It only took a few hours of my day to make sure my daughters father contributed to her life. It was not my plan for the day but it was not that hard to handle. And he needed to contribute. He is not good at it so he needed a lot of coaching.
Stop think observe plan
Stop reacting to the ex husband in the same old pattern. If nothing changes nothing changes.
Take a deep breath.
Think about what he is actually doing vs what he is saying. Act only on the actions.
Observe that the words and the actions don't match. This is a very old pattern you have seen it before. Its okay. He will not change but you do not have to live with it.
Plan how you are going to approach him when you talk with him.
How do we break a habit? One study I read about it being the best time to quit smoking when you are on vacation. That way you are out of your element and you can start new habits without feeling uncomfortable. How do you change a behavior you have done for the last 20 years?
The answer is in the grounded steps to personal finance. Stop spending. Think about the changes you want to make. Observe how others are doing it successfully. Plan for yourself a good plan of action. Its about what choices you are making that define where you want to go.
There are signs for when you are too far off the trail.And there are strategies for when you need to shore up the plan you have. Persistence and patience. One day at a time baby. You will make it happen.
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