Focusing on what I want most.

http://frugalbabe.com/2010/03/10/focusing-on-what-we-want-most/

Inspired by the link above...

Focusing on what I want most.

My priorities
1) my daughters college degree
2) I would like to be debt free
3) I would like to own my own home in which I can retire mortgage free
4) Surrounded by my loving family who I love in return.

What I want vs what I want right now.

Right now I want to go back to bed. But That could cause me to loose sick time and take away from maternity time I am planning to take in October.It is important to me to have "bonding time with my new baby so I will stick it out here at work.

I recently had a conversation with my DD. She was making a stew out of everything going haywire in her life. I tried to help her refocus on only what was important to solve for today. I asked her how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Keep a smaller focus in order to truely achieve your dreams.

She understands but is often surrounded by girls who do not share the same long term perspective. She gets frustrated by the fact they want to be soccer moms and drive a mini van. While she is looking forward to her career. It is often still a choice, despite more equality in the workplace, to have children vs a career. I was often of the Mrs degree. I still think I would like to smack that 20 year old child in me and say you are going to have to work for the rest of your life. Make sure you like what you do. focus on the work part because the marriage and kids is the easy part. Sigh... I knew so little. Yet as life journey continues I like where I am in general. I have a few sources of discomfort I want to be debt free. It causes me a lot of stress. I want to live in my own home instead of paying rent forever. But when you pull back from the details of day to day living I am happy with my Husband and family. I am proud of my DD,and DS and look forward to a second DD on the way. Most days I think I am utterly insane for being pregnant again. But I know I want to have children around me for a long time. My husband wanted to be a dad so crazy as it is, it is done with love. Who knows how it will turn out but I too want to live until I am 90 and so I must act as if that will come to pass. And take steps to ensure it will take place.

Some days I get the money I wants. I want a higher paying career, I want my masters degree, I want the super-sized McMansion. None of those things is unreachable, I just need to make them a priority. Yet I tend to fall back to the simple top 4 listed above. The first is almost achieved. Once it is accomplished I will turn to debt and a home search in a more intense way. I let myself fantasize about the McMansion. If you don't enjoy a good daydream whats the use of envisioning something? But when I envision the details of the dream most of the time I see happy children running in the back yard while my husband and I enjoy a glass of wine with each other or with friends. The location is less important then the scene I paint. Perhaps it comes from my family home which was a large colonial in the suburbs. Where we live now is just costly. We could get a LOT more house for less if we lived in another part of the country. But my#1 choice is where my brother returned to last year in June. He has just become employed after one fill year of unemployment. The prospect is not appealing. We will stay where we are for a while longer.

Money Geekness

***I wrote this a while ago and saved it in notepad. I am posting it now for my record ***

Friday where my brain is allowed to float along is a dangerous thing. I started to look at houses. I want to buy a house next year. I think we will need at least 3% down. Than means if I want a home the size I want it will be 3% of 425000 12,750. We have 3k from my grandmother set aside. I have my fingers crossed that my mom might be generous and gift us another 12K from the estate next year. That would be awesome.

I really want to pursue my masters degree. I think that is the only way I am going to increase my earning potential. I don't know how else to do it. The problem is I also think I am going to need to take a second job so I can continue to pay down debt and still make payments to the new child support bill that I know is coming. I am so sick to my stomach about that. It takes as long as it takes. But a second job at a generous rate of 12 per hour will net 20 hours per week of about $170.00 its only about an 8K per year raise. A degree should give me an increase of abour $20K per year.

I can never remember if housing is supposed to be 25% of net income or gross income. It makes a big difference in the home we can afford. (Update: the answer is net income)


Really I am just mad about the numbers the house I want is just out of reach for us. We really can afford about a $325,000 home not a $425,000 home. I just am being greedy. I need to adjust my desires. Its too much pressure on us to get there from here. right now. I think we need to keep focusing on the debt pay off. We need to continue to contribute to a down payment fund.

I think my next steps are: Open the money market account. Open a checking account so I can get to the money when I need it. Perhaps ask payroll for a direct deposit change to $100.00 per month to go to the money market account so I done have to fuss with deposit slips every month.

Frustration... I just rail at the walls because I am not where I want to be. I want to own a home. I just do.

The third option is to be able to put down $ 85,000. Ha ha ha ha ha that is really stinking funny. Not going to happen from my pay check. Maybe in 10 years it will. In 10 years. If I spend the time to pay off my debt... Lets just run that scenario...

100 contribution per month
x 12
_____
1200 per year
x 10 years
_____
$12,000 dollars
+6000
______
$18,000 for a down payment

Paying off all credit cards. will leave me the ability to contribute 500 per month to the fund for lets say 5 years 30000+18000= 48000 we are half way there. Paying off the debt is a more effective use of my money.

Goals -

If When I become a project manager and increase my income to $70k per year (reasonable and do able) I will be able to put away another $ 30,000 in 4 years which is 80k so in 10 years if I pay off my debt and If I get my MBA Then I will have the 20% needed. Grrr I will be 51 before I take on a 30 year mortgage. Sigh. Well lets get started. today. I have got to do it. Losing my dream is not acceptable to me.

25% or less of your monthly take-home pay.

One of the best ways to accomplish something is to break it down into small, manageable parts. Complete these small parts and soon you'll have your goal accomplished. I need to do this for the PMP certification and for the MBA

http://digg.com/business_finance/WSJ_com_Five_Credit_Card_Traps_Everyone_Should_Know_About