Good news Bad news and inspiration

I love reading other peoples finance blogs. I didn't think I would. But every day I break out my blog reader and look for the new posts. I find inspiration in many places. I feel as though I am starting a new journey. And Change is never something I easily do. But with this change there are a few things that keep me moving forward....

Inspiration - http://wereindebt.com/ for the side bar which it turns out is from... a word press plug in Although, you'll see I adapted it to my own colors.

I love the No Credit Needed blog & network. Every time I realize that there are many people in my position. Of course that's the good news and the bad news.

I saw this link in another blog and I am re posting the link (MSN article) I just turned 40 and I have felt VERY very behind my friends. Big sigh of relief perhaps I am really somewhere in the middle. I just got a new job that will be contributing 10% of my income to a retirement plan. I feel like not just a better salary but a raise too... Using the calculators on the MSN site I determined I can die at age 95. That's good news since my grand mother is 89. I can now think happily about debt elimination and college.

The choices I made to get myself here were mine. But every day I read about the choices people are making to better themselves and I feel liberated. I have made a few small changes of my own. I am going to start the second job process sooner... I have asked for help from my fiancee to do some driving for my daughter which will allow me an extra evening to work. Inspired by another Single mom I talked honestly with my daughter about what is reasonable for some choices she has coming up. We laid out a cost analysis of the things she wanted to do I told her what I could afford and discussed options with her. It was a breakthrough moment for me. For a woman who likes to keep it all inside, I finally said halt this is too much. I am proud of my daughter to see how far her decision making has come and I am proud of myself for having the courage to change my ways and teach her good spending habits. I don't want to pass along my debt-ing habits.


I am not a financial professional. If you are looking for financial advise you should seek it elsewhere. If you would like to join me on the journey, walk with me for a while and be my friend......

Saturdays

Today is supposed to be a play day. Its hard to play at something. I am so disciplined about going to work and and cleaning the house and taking care of my daughter I don't "budget" in time to play. I think it would help me to relax. I do sewing and cross stitch which is a frugal hobby if you allow it to be. You can spend Tons of money on that stuff but It will take me a year to finish the project I am currently working on (Song of Christmas) I love Marilyn Leavitt-Imblum's Designs. Even linking this page I see she has a new design. I will need to resist temptation to pay down debt first and then spend money on Hobbies. Although like I said It is pretty frugal project. I think I spent about $50 between floss, fabric, the pattern, and I did buy a plastic frame to help with the stitching. Maybe more like $45. So divide that cost with the pleasure for the year I will spend working on it..... it costs 12 cents per day. Ah not to shabby at all. I'll post a picture when my daughter returns from her trip.

So Money. I sat down and calculated my daughters summer expenses today. About $6500. Its a lot. The ex husband did Offer Quite a bit as a partial payment and like I said I am getting a second job to pay off debts in just 4 more weekends. Thankfully the season is coming to a close. They did take third in a regional!!! Way to go kiddo!!! :-)

I look at ways I could even earn more money by consulting. It is a little scary putting out a consulting shingle. I feel as though it will be easier to work at a department store. Then you get the store discount and you don't have to think much. I think enough at my day job. But you do have to wait on the public which is not my favorite thing to do. And sometimes it shows. - I will let you know which path I choose......

Goals for this blog:

• I will put up a graphic quantifying my debt. (Have to create it first) Done

• I will post my 1001 things in 101 days. (I have done more then I thought I would) Done
  

• I will create a list of financial goals to hold myself accountable.

I have done this week paying attention to my finances. I took care of a medical bill, I took care of a tax bill, and a requested for the THIRD time that my W2 be sent. So I feel accomplished. I have a few items on the to do list:
Convert old bonds to cash
Contact previous employees about 401K
Contact Current employer and confirm paperwork was rec'd
Do some 403b research to determine which funds would be good for me.
Fill in Debt spreadsheet from book.

Well that's a start. I think I will work on those while my daughter does her homework tomorrow.
Its a beginning. and It feels like progress which makes me happy.

I am not a financial professional. If you are looking for financial advise you should seek it elsewhere. If you would like to join me on the journey, walk with me for a while and be my friend......

Confession

I have debt. I have big huge honkin debt hanging over my head. It is an anchor to my heart and I am scared. It goes back to being a young single mom. I really would have gotten into debt regardless of my daughter. Perhaps she saved me from digging a bigger hole for myself.

Ahhh de nial aint just a river in egypt......

The lies: The debt grew because I kept telling myself I will have a better job someday. I had enough in savings to pay it off and I can at any time cash that out (That made it seem safe. HA HA HA) I lived like I already had the next bigger job. I lived like I wanted my daughter to see and not by what I could afford to do. The funny thing is If I had conserved I probably would have been able to buy all that I wanted I just felt like I was starting off in the red. Then because I was in the red who cared if the amount grew. Who cared if the debt got bigger. Its just a noose you learn to live with. We as humans live with so much adversity it is amazing what we are willing to live with. Well I am not willing any more.

Other lies: In the life journey I have also moved a lot. I dont own a home so I have been paying rent for 15+ years - that adds up to $0 fast. There have also been some poor choices. I worked for a person I should not have. I also, after the business fell apart, was unemployeed for a eighteen months. I was very very depressed. I still shudder at that. I never never want to be unemployeed again. At least one third to one half of the current debt I have is from that year and a half. It makes me so mad at myself. I am never mad at the 16 year old in me but if I could go back and shake the 32 year old I would like to shaker her and say WAKE UP dont you see what you are doing to yourself???

And more lies: Health insurance, Car maintenance and clothing. Three expenses that do happen and I almost always ignored. I thought if I didnt have money for those things I wouldn't have to deal with them. They will go away. And that is true. If you ignore your car it will break down and someone will tow it away and then what will you do to get to work???

No more head in the sand. Today there is bright sunny daylight and I am on a journey to be debt free. My daughter just informed me that we do not owe the youth guard any more it is paid in full!!! Wa hoo - only 5 more weekends to go and I will be free to get a second job. There is light at the end of the tunnel and the journey is going to be fun. I will shake off the debt and go forward with retirement savings.

I an not a financial professional. If you are looking for financial advise you should seek it elsewhere. If you would like to join me on the journey, walk with me for a while and be my friend......

Change

I've accepted that I'm going to be making lots of changes in my life. I have spent time taking care of other people's budgets but not my own. Well it’s my turn. I know what needs to be done. Now that I have this great resolve to get out of debt and there is a lull. I can’t take action until I get paid again. I hate to wait. I have conflicts with looking for a second job. I think I need to look into consulting. I am worried about being able to pay off this debt. Yet here I am waiting and stuck. I hate that feeling. The tension of two opposing forces tugging and pulling at yourself.

So inspiration:

After reading the NY times articles and exploring lots of financial blogs I decided an on-line journal was the way to go. I am ready. I have examined my debt before - never with any belief that it could end. But now I believe. Previously I thought that some "magic" event would come and get me out. I thought that Some event like getting married or getting a dream job would take care of the debt. But it never happened. I thought the medical charges should be a part of the insurance plan so why was I accountable for them? I thought I would get a better job in the future and my expenses would decrease and I would be able to pay it all off. (Laughing LOUDLY at myself here) I thought an investment I made would come through and I'd be able to pay it all off and still be able to purchase a home out right. Agghhh that special magical thinking. The light is on. The fairy dust is gone and it’s just me. And now I am ready to pay it off!!!!

There were a few ways I got into debt. I was a young single mother. I had a decent job, but I needed the income of a middle aged family. I thought my ex-husband would be supportive. HA. I always thought I was on a journey to being rich. I believed I could be a CEO (more magical thinking) the next big chance was just around the corner.

At least I had a college degree going for me. I am grateful for that. It could have ended up a LOT worse. But then because I believed in the degree that played into what I thought I could spend. I never thought the highest I would go is middle management - and it would be a good opportunity. I had some savings. I had no college loans. That’s probably what spoiled me a bit. I never lived on my own just me I was either a daughter or mother. It was a big and rough transition. I had no idea. I learned over time. To make a casseroles for lunch, to not go to Target on payday, to be careful what I say yes to. To need less Stuff and value what I am and can do. It was a journey to get here and it will be a journey to get out. Come with me if you want to............................ The future starts now...